How I feel now

Tonight, I feel like loving you. I feel like writing you-and singing you; about how I don't know you...not the curve of your face, nor your smell, nor your laugh, but I dream to.
My heart beats here, for you there-and words pour from my fingertips, into cursive, secret, penmanship-about what I would say to you.
What would I say to you? About knowing things I shouldn't know, but I do...and knowing your bravery, though you don't know my first name...and how I admire you?
What should I say?
What am I allowed to say?

Could I tell you that my heart connects, with stories of you? And your courage is something I look up to, as if I've lived all this time to admire you?
And I see myself-
In strands of
Whispers about you...
And I wonder,
if you see you in me too.

And my hand may never touch yours-
My eyes may never meet yours,
But my heart wants to write yours,
And tell you-
That I know the difference between us and the world;
that we both see things through eyes that have seen too much-
And have heard things, that most lips should never utter.

And perhaps there would be clarity, sanity, sanctuary, haven-in
Each-other.

And I can't explain how I'm already addicted to a kiss that hasn't touched my lips...
Or a friendship,
that is as warm as a hug and as soft as a whisper.

But I indeed, am certain of one thing...


When I meet you...
I'll probably fall in love with you.


And even though I feel like loving you tonight;
That's the one thing, I am the most afraid to do.

Marry me

And let me wrap you
Up in these arms,
On this day,
And tell you how much I love you.


Before you leave.
And I can't say-

Everything your ears need to hear.

My Song of Myself

I kiss myself,
To taste myself-
My tongue longs
To drink
Breathing beauty-
Alive and real
And me

And

In my mouth,
I am sweet
Like cherry blossoms or
Honey

Like breaths taken after
The kisses of sonnets
That have slept inside themselves too long.

I am like nectar on the tongues
Of humming birds;
That birth spring and
Breathe innocence into the
Stifling rays of May.

And the breath of me
Whispers deep
And will wrap you up
Like a blanket,
Inside of me...


And I am
Like home.

My hips,
Are full,
They dance viciously,
And vibrantly.
They are every color of
This life.

And
They love themselves;
Hold themselves,
Adore themselves
With poise...
Grace
And subtle, tender, sweetness.

They soak in the fingertips
That use them.
Of passer-byes that have loved them,
Too much or too little
That pressed into them with anger
And rage,

Or sadness-and desperation-

To drink them up,

When my soft,
Perfect toes
Beg to run away.

And my neck is stained
With kisses of forgiveness,
And jealousy.
It is where I hold my spite,
And vicious weapons;
Pridefully.

It is covered with marks of beauty.
One or two-
Freckles that decided to leave their lips on me.
To cover up the truth

That my throat is no filter,
Where a filter should be.

And my tongue is
Sharp like a blade;
The shiniest razor-
That will cut you to the quick,
And make you bleed soft and sweet.

Or it will kiss you so deep,
Your feet can't breath-
Or think to run away from the catastrophe of me.

And you'll fall in love with me.
And not be able to pull away.
And wrap me up so tight...
And my chest will beg you stay-

So I can love you.
Forever,
And my hips might resent you.
At fingers' threat to pull away.

But still-
Without you,
I am.
Me.

Like the pastels that breath themselves
Into the ages of the oak table-
That leave their dreams inside
The seams of
The able wood.

Or the song of a watercolor dream-
That dresses and undresses itself-
And uncovers
The naked truths to the world...

Of Me.

And I am everything
That is touchable,
And taste-able
And tangible.
And right and real.

Everything beautiful;
That has crossed it's bare feet
On the hot pavements of rage,
Soaked itself in
The sadness of rain;
That is suffocated in the
Breathlessness of passion.

Everything
That sways
It's violent branches in and out
Of my chest...

This life that hums
And drums underneath my breast
On the chords of my heart,

To the deepest ounces of me.

And every song of me is sweet.
From the freckles of my skin,
To the threads
Of the fiber of who I am.

And I am truth;
My leaves luminous;
Every light.

I am the spring,
That is carried by the Autumn-
The Autumn Jade that I am.

Your truth-
That will use every drink of myself,
My lips,
My chest-
My lungs,
My everything
That will breath this life,
This air,
These seasons...

Into you.

I might just

Fall in this February...
Against my better judgement.

Wishes...
You saw me.

"Without your voice to tell me-

'I love you take a right...'
The ten and the two is the loneliest sight..."

The night is clear

And I breath it so-

And sorrow unclenches my chest-

And let's me go;

And the pain of losing you seems
Years away.

And all the waiting;
Obsolete.

The message came

And knocked me down,

And stole the world from me-

And nothing bolstered-
Not even earth;
Which rocked beneath my feet.

And I can't recall,
Where knees went wrong-
When I needed them the most.

And left was I,
With heavy heart;
Destructing pieces of it's own.

And fingers tensed,
And soul collapsed-
And sweat came to my brow;

And spinning was my
Hollow head-
Until it felt the ground.

I never knew such sorrow til
I begged for you to say;
The things that ears should never hear-

To wish me full away.

The beauty of friendship

Celebrates-

The value of Gerber Daisies,
The sound of laughter,
The excitement of getting out of my car alive-
The joy of a good Monte Cristo
And diet coke with cherries.

Best friend lady bug tattoos,
Wedding dress browsing,

Black princesses,
Red buttons that hide from us

The mending of a broken heart,

Being able to vent-

Singing songs from Legally Blonde,

And the color pink.

Eyebrow discussions,
And birthday parties for dogs-

Finding synonyms for "submissive"
Which is the OPPOSITE of "prude"

And knocking everything off the shelves at Target.

I'm almost

Certain-
There is a little

Melody
Inside this heart

But I let the waves get the best Of me and it falls apart...

Collapses right beneath me.

My precious melody-
All I have.

Today

Upon waking-
I lost you to the rain;

And in the mist
And loneliness-

My heart broke once again.

And tears

Hit the ground-
As my lips called out your name.

But you were too far gone
And far to close

To give me another chance.