I wish I knew what happens,
And how it gets this way.

I have this theory...
That most things start out being a mistake from the beginning,
Because our heads get in the way.


In love,
We make these assumptions of what a person is;
Or what we feel they should be.

We sit down at dinner with them,
And attentively listen-
Searching for things
We want to hear,
And weeding out what we don't
Want to believe,

We choose the best of the traits of a person-
To build a script around.
We, the play-makers,
The safest ones...
Build their characters.

And we "fall in love" with them.
We fall in love with what we've built,
What we've created in our heads.

And we master it so well-
That we can almost predict what's coming next.

And then, when we do know,
We become disappointed,
That "love" didn't bring us all it was supposed to.

So-we change ourselves,
From play-maker
To our character's perfect mate.

We too assume a roll;
And play it...
As we search for happiness;
The happiness we are certain is there,
Behind the scenes.

And by the end of it all;
By curtain call-

We find ourselves more lost than when we began.
And we've stolen life from someone else-
Because they were never what we really wanted
From the beginning.

We are too afraid to let love find us;
So...
We create facades
That can't touch it,
And live in those instead-
In fear.

And I sometimes wonder what would happen,
If we let go of the idea of loving.

I think,
If maybe-
We stopped writing for just a moment and looked up-
We could really experience the feel of falling.